| Aug. 11th, 2008 @ 10:38 pm Freaking out |
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Current Mood:  stressed
Teaching is very intense and busy. Generally, I thrive on intense and busy.
For me, teaching is a lot like spicy food. Kind of exciting and somewhat risky. I mean, BW3 hot wings are like nothing, but Roosters' wings are hot.
I am learning that teaching Special Ed. is like ordering the Blazing Fire wings before your water or beer comes.
I have been teaching special ed for almost 2 years now, but in a kind of more laid back way. I took over the preschool class, but preschool is an easy intro. There's no set curriculum, there are typical kids mixed in, there are few demands on the kids. We teach them to play, to request snacks with words, to wash hands, to follow the schedule and routine. We teach them how to "do" school.
Last year, I was the teacher's aide in primary MH. I had some ass-kickingly hard days! But I could walk away at 3:30 and not worry about IEPs, laws, lesson set up, etc.
WOW. Trial by fire this year. I'm on my own (there are aides, but The Responsibility is mine, mine, mine alone.) AND I'm working with adolescents. I don't know what to do the first day of school, people! I have no lesson plan in mind. At all.
I have gone back and forth with regard to my confidence. Was I arrogant to take this job? It's an awesome responsibility. Can I take care of these kids the right way?
I've read for days. I've reflected. But now I really need to buckle down and get practical. I don't even know where to start.
Looking at the big picture and breaking it down has never been a strength of mine. What was I thinking?
My worry is not the children. I know how to address needs and behaviors, how to go about facilitating communication, how to help them learn to read picture cards or Edmark words. My worry is how to start this school year.
ANYONE who would want to come and help me THIS WEEK, I would pay. Truly, if you have time? COme and help me. Just hold my hand and tell me what to do next. I'm a good old worker and a good old pal. I just can not start. It's like standing in the middle of a huge room full of stuff and deciding how to organize it.
AHHHH! Stress ball!!! |
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